Syboleth ch. 21: Clipped, Second Half

AN: If you've already read Chapter 20 when I posted it as Chapter ?+6 back in December, please reread between Chapters 19 and 21 before continuing. Basically, I was a big dumdum and posted the chapters out of order at first.

Chapter 21: Clipped, Second Half

MIT Technology Review - April 4th, 2034

New era in artificial intelligence — Perfluous Research announces "true thought simulation"

In a characteristically whimsical press release, Perfluous Research today announced that they had for the first time synthesized a real thinking machine, with potential for sentience. This machine, which they are calling the Thinker, is comprised of organoid tissue and time crystals storing an incredible amount of MRI data correlated with various media.

Keira Cross is the iconoclastic and controversial lead researcher behind this effort, who was given funding and allowed to form the Perfluous research group in 2032 after CIA trials demonstrated the remarkable ability for her independent trials to model cognitive response patterns and predict with unprecedented accuracy actions the human brain would take. Adam Feinstein and Nancy Chao's names were also attached to the press release.

Will this bring about a new era in AI after the bubble pop of 2027-2028 left so many companies peddling nothing more than LLM text generation with ever-growing memory reserves like Companions? Only time can tell.

STAT News - July 4th, 2034

DRISPR Biosciences reaches milestone after one year of clinical trials, rumors of IPO

As of today, DRISPR Biosciences has been trialing their specialty coded drugs for one year in initial test subjects. Deliberately coinciding with this anniversary is their debut of a new set of trials featuring a new drug.

"We're so proud to be announcing this groundbreaking move on such a momentous day for this entire project," said Charles Rosenberg, DRISPR Biosciences cofounder. "This is one more step towards a new future for everyone that has ever been touched by drug addiction."

Speculative assessments place DRISPR at valuations between 8 to 15 billion dollars. Sources told STAT that there are discussions of an initial public offering, but leaders within the company are hesitant to go public so distant from going to market.

Reuters - July 23rd, 2034

Iran disables GPS over four square mile area, 10,000 US casualties reached in war

According to US sources and the Iranian Armed Forces, an unprecedented area of four square miles was thoroughly geo-jammed for a period of almost 48 hours from Tuesday to Thursday this week. Iran forces exploited this confusion amongst US soldiers, bringing the 10,000th casualty of a United States soldier in the Iran War.

The president will provide remarks on the situation at 7 ET, broadcast on CSPAN.

WIRED - August 5th, 2034

Five most ingenious uses for slots in your home

The products we recommend are our sincere preferences, but our links will include affiliate links.

1. Biometric medication dispensers
Rather than come up with increasingly inventive ways to hide your pain medication as the kids grow older, why not use Samsung's new Wall Pill Minder with Fingerprint Access?

2. Trash disposal
We had to include this. If you haven't made the investment to get trash disposal slots installed in your household, do it. It's the smartest thing you'll ever do. We aren't going to bother recommending a specific brand here since the options are so varied and depend on individual households, but make sure your installation pro is licensed. It's okay to ask to see their badge.

3. Snack control slots
Here's something really clever: Vlogger Karina Richards shows how she uses a time release slot with ten compartments all on their own timers to allow her kids to get snacks on a controlled basis. With the script linked below, you can get each compartment to trigger the successive timer to start when it's opened. That way if your kid forgets to get their snack for half the day they don't come back to a bounty of goodies. Smart.

4. Heated bathroom towel dispensers
I think the name says it all here. We personally prefer the Kohler Heated Towel Access with Shower Detection. This heats the towel automatically when you start showering instead of requiring you to press a button. Delightful.

5. Charging cables
If you only have outlets or USB-C ports on your wall, stop. You need to invest in a quality charging cable system. You can store a spare charging cable in the slot of course, but the real value comes from a heavy-duty charging cable that stays attached and delivers up to 120W of Power Delivery power but can trickle charge at 3.5W for your doohickey from a decade ago. Specifically, I'm thinking of the Anker SuperSlot SurgeStopper 120W.

Rolling Stone - January 27th, 2035

First Vtuber nominated for an Oscar says this "proves cinema is for everyone"

Sal Yossarian, the smash hit Vtuber who brought the reality of the Palestine genocide ten years in to millions of eyes, has received the first-ever Oscar nomination for a Vtuber in the category of Best Documentary. In a short message to his fans acknowledging the honor, he said that "Cinema is now for everyone. This proves it. For someone like me, someone nobody even knows the real name of, to be nominated for the highest honor in the land, that shows that the Academy has grown with the times."

Activists for Palestine noted the stark change in American sentiments over the past decade that allowed a documentary like this to be nominated for an Oscar to begin with, regardless of author.

[...]

Associated Press - January 30th, 2035

Perfluous Research files application for requisition of fifty million gallon water reservoir as water demands grow

With organoid tissue powering the most advanced artificial intelligence ever, water usage is a fact of life for Perfluous Research. Organoid tissue is a special type of biological tissue that can be used for computing, and it requires lots of water. Yesterday, Perfluous submitted their application to begin negotiations for a fifty million gallon reservoir located in the Lake Tahoe watershed.

Environmental activists and biodiversity scientists railed against the move. "This is an unimaginable loss for wildlife and farmers in the region," Aggie Busch, an activist with Water Warriors Worldwide, told the AP. "Society's obsession with simulated intelligence must not be allowed to continue to supersede real human needs."

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Reading these news clippings has given me much to think about. Eventually you, as well.

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